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A Beginners Guide to Weight Gain

This article will teach you the secrets of weight gain. You too can have a large, round body that will make you the star for your next trip to the Pacific Islands.

My credentials

I have been very successful in putting on weight. Since being born at 10 pounds I now weigh in at close to 20 stone, a great weight gain you will have to agree. I am happy to let you into my secret.

My Get Fat plan

Getting fat is not easy, you have to work at it meal by meal, but you will be allowed snacks (big snacks) between meals and also between other snacks.

Exercise


The exercise requirements for this program are minimal, in fact, we actively discourage it. The only exercise you need is to walk around the supermarket throwing all the high fat and energy foods you can into the trolley, and then heading for home. Walking from the car to a fast food outlet is acceptable in certain circumstances, but we recommend using the drive through.

Special foods


This diet has also been called the high fat, high starch and low fruit diet. If it looks delicious and you can cook it in fat you should be ok.

Portion Control


I have put this in because many other diet plans use the term. We prefer to talk about whole eating. Don't eat portions, for example, it is better to eat a whole chicken, than eating small portions of the chicken. Cutting up the chicken leaches out the fat content.

Typically we find that our clients can pile on about 10 pounds a week, but don't despair if you can only manage 5 pounds as it will add up.

Clothing


We recommend that you wear large clothing so that your eating efforts are not constrained.

Persevere and you will soon have a body to die for.

Bon appetit

DK

Contributed by drkelp on September 14, 2008, at 5:00 AM UTC.

PLEASE VISIT THE CONTRIBUTOR'S WEBSITE
Dr Kelp's Program Recommendations
See what Dr Kelp is recommending
www.angelfire.com/md/haematology/electrum.html

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