The Kiwi Bloke

The bloke is the male of the species while the sheila is the female. The sheila is sometimes call "the missus" and the male, "Dad".

The species was first brought to New Zealand in the 1800's.The species has adapted well to the New Zealand climate. The Kiwi bloke is named after the iconic, noctural, flightless bird indigenous to NZ called the Kiwi.

The Kiwi bloke travels around in groups with other blokes called mates, even though they do not mate together. They are often found in pubs/hotels and other watering holes. The bloke has a range of expressions which distinguish him from other flocking animals. The main calls are:

"Yeah, Gidday"

"She'll be right"

"Pour me another beer, mate"

"Good as Gold"

"Bugga"

"Come around for a barbie"

The other place that the Kiwi bloke is found is around the sacred barbecue (BBQ) or barbie. The ritual is to cook meat until it is unrecognisable, as hard as boot leather and then say how tender it is. because of the toughness of the steak, a copious supply of beer (or bevvies) is required.

Groups of kiwi blokes seen in the wild have been observed rushing around a field chasing after an oval, inflated, leather ball. There are ususlly 30 blokes involved at a time unless one of the blokes misbehaves or is knocked out. After 90 minutes of furious action, the Kiwi blokes retire to another watering hole called the Rugby club as running around is known to dehydrate the bloke.

The good thing is that if you are in New Zealand, you can approach the Kiwi bloke for a bit of a yarn (talk) and expect to be greeted with a hearty "Gidday, how the hell are ya".